So this is what an intervention looks like.

After work last Wednesday, I barely made it home before Kim and Cora.  Opening the door, I stepped into a situation I thought I would never experience.  An Intervention.  Dropping my bag on the floor a saw this group sitting on the couch.



In my mind, I could hear them begin.  "Ben. This is an intervention. As Cora's friends, we all love you very much. We are concerned that you are spending too much time on the computer reading your Facebook friends' updates, watching "the Colbert Report" and Tweeting.  We've tried to reach you other ways, but those have obviously failed."

"What do you mean 'other ways'? What have you been up to? Have you been messing with my computer?"



I could have sworn that the leader of the group Baby Stella (fourth from left) said, "We've got our ways of getting things done."




"Wha? How...Who did it? Poo Bear? Nana Bear? You guys didn't mess with my computer did you?"



Hippopappamus (3rd from Right) chimed in, "Leave them alone. They don't know anything about the I-Pod."

"I-Pod?!?"

"No, No, I meant the desktop, what was it a Dell?  Those are pretty good computers.  You had that one for a while didn't you?  You got a new one right? Hey Piggy.  You've seen the new computer right?"

"Okay Guys. I gotta go.  It's been great talking to you.  This intervention is over." 

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I Don't Quite Know What To Think of This

Let me start by making the following confessions:

1. I get the whole nationalism thing.
2. I understand why one loves his/her country.
   
3. I admit that I'm not the most patriotic person that I know.
   
4. I'm also guilty of taking the freedoms I enjoy in the US for granted.
   
5. I know that at times I fall into the "blame America first crowd."
   

Confessions made, I must say "I don't understand this e-mail." I got it today and have been trying to organize my thought. I have a bad feeling about it, but as of yet have been unable to explain why. It seems to conflate Country and God. It makes an analogy between US soldiers and Jesus, which if taken further makes the President of the United States God. I like the guy we've currently got in there, but I'm not ready to worship him.

Check it out and let me know what YOU think.

On The Blog

On Twitter

On Facebook

-----------------Forwarded Content Below This Line----------------

A mother asked this President... 'Why did my son have to die in Iraq ?' A mother asked this President.. 'Why did my son have to die in Saudi Arabia ?' A mother asked this President... 'Why did my son have to die in Kuwait ?' Another mother asked this President... 'Why did my son have to die in Vietnam ?' Another mother asked this President... 'Why did my son have to die in Korea ?' Another mother asked this President... 'Why did my son have to die on Iwo Jima ?' Another mother asked President... 'Why did my son have to die on a battlefield in France ?' Yet another mother asked President... 'Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg ?' And yet another mother asked President... 'Why did my son have to die on a frozen field near Valley Forge ?' Then long, long ago, a mother asked.. 'Heavenly Father .. why did my Son have to die on a cross outside of Jerusalem ?' The answer is always the same... 'So that others may live and dwell in peace, happiness, and freedom.'

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Now I understand the "Twilight" Phenom

I watched the first 15 minutes of "Twilight" with my wife the other day.  At the time, I didn't get why she along with so many others love the Twilight stories.  Not to say I haven't tried.  A couple months ago, I went so far as to apply a temporary tattoo that fell out of Kim's copy of "New Moon" and had been sitting on the floor of her car. I thought I was getting into having "I [Heart] Edward" on my right arm until the next time I took my shirt off in front of Kim. I still have trouble putting words to the look on her face.  Shock? Jealousy? Doubt in her choice in mates?

The problem was I unable to imagine where the story was going.  I was blinded by seemingly flat acting, worn out story line and nonsensical dialogue. This evening I watched the trailer to see its dramatic arc and like Paul on the road to Damascus my vision became clear and I found a new and abundant appreciation for Twilight. 

Check it out and see for yourself why I now can reaffirm what was once just a sales gimmick plastered across my right deltoid: 

"I [Heart] Edward." 

http://sciencevandal.blogspot.com

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"This Day in History" according to a guy in Payroll

The guy in payroll sends a reminder every other week that we need to enter our hours into the payroll system.  At the end of each he adds a "This Day in History" addendum.  Here's what he wrote for April 23, 2009.

On this day in 8481 BC Zog Jones discovered fire and cooked the first Mammoth cutlet.  His wife, Glurg, said, “Hhmmpf gorbek mishoba nontille.”  A literal translation is difficult because caveman idioms are much different than ours, but the gist of it was, “How come you never take me out to dinner?  You stopped finding me attractive after the children were born.  You’re sleeping on the rock tonight.”
 
32 days until our next vacation, 99 days until my birthday, 245 days until Christmas, 7040 days until I retire.

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No really, I'm a hard worker.....Sometimes

My wife does such a good job keeping up with her blog that I've decided I need to keep up with her.  In so doing, I am already resorting to piggy backing her posts.  Actually, I'll be drawing out memorable bits that are all about me and engaging in a little bit of self aggrandizement.

Check this out if you've ever wanted proof that I know what a hard day's work looks AND feels like.

Yes, those are my matchstick legs trailing behind the tiller.

Again that is me playing the part of a Jesus figure flanked in suffering little children and pushing a rototiller.  Never mind the Jesus part but look at my daughter.  She looks like she might suffer if I were to catch up with her.  I promise I was not chasing her with that contraption.  I promise.

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So that's why my resume is ubber-long.

@Robcorddry passed this video along via the Twitter. I don't quite know what to make of all of this.   

 

It goes a long way toward explaining why my resume is quickly approaching the "Flake" stage of its development. Two and a half pages and growing.  The baby boomers seemed to keep a job for life.  Somehow I don't stay in a job for longer than a Monarch's life. And somehow the butterfly gets further than I do what with their summering in the US and Canada then wintering in beautiful "Me-he'-co." (An oversimplification I know, since it's grandkids of the Canadian butterfly that make their egress over the Rio Grande and into Mexico.)  

I've got to either keep a job for longer than a year, print my resume front and back to keep it on two pieces of paper or travel more.  With technology expanding the way it is, in 5 years, keeping a job longer than a month will be a major feat, paper resumes will be obsolete and I'll be able to transport myself all over the world and through time with some Google service currently being dreamed up in Google labs. 

Technology both horrifying and titillating at the exact same time.

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Anthropomorphism can be a real jerk. Take 2

Welcome to the family new I-Mac.  It's been a long time coming, but you are finally hear to clean up all the clutter in our lives.  You sleek, sexy aluminum clad thing you.  I love how you just sit here and let me type random thoughts on you like you have nowhere else to go, nothing better to do.



I dim the lights to set the mood and you glow like a candle on a moonlit night.



What's that you say?  Oh no, pay no attention to that.  It's nothing.



Just a pile of computer scraps, you know old cables and the like.  Relics from a bygone age relegated to the scrap heap destined for the Good Will. Nothing to be worried about.  I'll never toss you away like that. 

What?  Oh no, the shoe shine kit stays.  I know I said that stuff was going to...No you can't have it.  Why do you need it anyway?  The country blue shelf?  No we're not keeping it.  It's ugly.  Yes it would hold lots of knick knacks.  No I will not hang it behind you.  You are supposed to help clean up my life. 

Hey listen.  I really need to go.  My...hey another human is IM'ing me.

Damon:  So Apple, eh?

me:  yep.

I'm digging it.

Damon:  What components you go in there?

me:  hmmm?
Damon:  You know, the electronics and stuff

me:  oh ya.

a 24 inch monitor I-Mac

with an Intel  2.66 gig processor

640 gig hard drive

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